Contemplative Order of the Drunken Masters

The housing market was in a slump until recently when the biggest mortgage financiers reported recorded losses and the market when from a slump to a flaming shit spiral. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae; yes that is the name of the two largest governmentally backed mortgage companies, are actually worth negative money.  That means that if you sold everything they own off and fired everyone you’d still owe their creditors 5.8 billion dollars.

This along with the energy fucking nightmare ( crisis not being sufficient) suggests that the US is facing not just troubled times but a depression so massive that the the Great One we had 80 years ago will seem reasonable.

Greed and corruption plus short sighted good intentions and incompetent fumble fingered leadership is going to jettison our grand country into 3rd world status ripe for take over. Buy guns, ammo, and food folks.  We are in for a heck of a ride. Especially if a majority of Americans don’t have skills that are independent on technology.

I’m glad I know how to raise and butcher animals.  I need to learn some basic farming.

This would be the entropy side of being a discordian.  The part that involves laughing as the system breaks down. Giggling as the law and order freaks watch the tatters of their civilization shred themselves because of mismanagement and abuse. Playing while everyone who can’t change and adapt cries “why me” and doesn’t do anything. Smiling a mirthless self-satisfied smile as balance reassert itself.  We are coming to a time when we have to change, adapt and overcome our ignorances and pride.

Hail Eris!

This jake comes in three different Jake levels. The basics are to pervert the automated threat detection system attached to phone taps by calling people and saying a bunch of terrorist buzzwords.

Low Risk:
Call your friends from a various pay phones, never using the same one twice.

Medium:
Call random people from the phone book from the same pay phone.

Advanced:
Call governmental numbers from the same payphone

Eris:
Call Homeland security from your cell phone.

Google considers me dangerous? My blag can hurt your computer? I would like to think that my website is bad for you brain. Bad for the robot in your head.

I attach the following in order to convince all-mighty google that I am not an evil person.

I am sorry that I have abused you by not sharing something I thought up that I think it discordian gold. Take a cliche` and keep the structure of it but change it slightly to point out it’s faults. Examples are below.

Original
“When you assume you make an ass out of you and me”

Improved
“When you make an assumption you make and ass out of you and umption”

Original
“When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns”

Improved
“When laws are outlawed, only outlaws will have laws”

Please add your own.

So I’m going to do the lame uncreative thing of finding quotes from the internet and reposting them here. It is done in the spirit of sharing but all it does is create cliches.

Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support
ALL FANATICS MUST DIE!
If you can read this, you’re in range.
We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again.
A sucking chest wound is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it.

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. But we aren’t all together are we? We, as a people, haven’t been together for a very long time if we ever were. I believe it is this fundamental fracture in society that causes friction and upheaval in our world. Worse there is nothing that I know that can bring us all together. If we think of two people as a very simplistic metaphor for the world’s culture we can judge humanities ability to come together by looking at the rising divorce rate. Helping to marry people is my effort towards the scientific discovery of some meta-quality in people that can be related to despite language, culture, or geographic location.

Operation Mind-Fuck continues

I’ll tell you what you don’t get: Brock fuckin’ Samson

http://skippyslist.com/list/

These are the things that my brain would come up with to keep me from going crazy from the day in day out boring order that I imagine a military life to be. I also see people trying to make me keep a list like this that I am ostensibly to follow.

HMILF

If you need a hint the H stands for Holy. I don’t need to say more but I am coming up with pictures.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/

So the NFL is busting churches that show the super bowl on screens bigger that 55 inches because it violates copyright law. It is the view of the NFL and the US gov that screens that big can only be used for public events or some such thing.

Really? Seriously? I mean doing that to Fundamentalist asshole organization sounds like a gas; actually sounds like a good way to at least cost those fuckers some money and set precedent for the government cracking the churches over the head for breaking the law. However to do that to a peaceful organization that is only interested in sharing a hobby and brotherhood is kinda dickish.

Now that that’s out of the way it would be kinda funny to roll around to a bunch of these Wal*Mart sized fundamentalist asshole churches and see if they are holding super bowl parties. Either the NFL will succesfully sue a church of assholes of the courts will overturn an assholish copyright law.

I was looking through the comments section of wordpress’s  dashboard and apparently the interwebs have led what I can only assume is an extremely lost wanderer to this site and it are a discordian to boot.  Welcome Pope Eggs Benedict Arnold. I have no idea how google found us. These are the disjointed ramblings of mostly me. This site was set up so that I could keep my brain from fnording. I am Pope Zombie Bandersnatch; the Crazy Black Goat of the Contemplative Order of the Drunken Masters Cabal